Cheers and Jeers: Tuesday

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Would you like a authorities that’s truthful, one wherein the affect of People of modest means can not less than hope to cope with the affect of the wealthy and highly effective? 

HANAHAN, SC - OCTOBER 30: People line up to cast their in-person absentee ballots at the Berkeley County Library on October 30, 2020 in Hanahan, South Carolina. Voters waited about an hour and a half to cast their ballots.(Photo by Michael Ciaglo/Getty Images)
Voters did their job to drag our ft from the fascism fireplace. Time so that you can do yours, Democratic muckety mucks.

Would you like a authorities that’s open and clear, one the place conflicts of curiosity are banished or not less than disclosed, one the place the wants of constituents have an opportunity in opposition to the transactional relationships between elected officers and the cash behind them?

Would you like a authorities that displays the voters that it serves, one the place the correct to vote is common—and never a operate of the place you reside, the way you vote, how a lot you make or the way you look?

With H.R. 1, Home Democrats reply “sure” to these questions.

Stated soon-to-be-powerless Senate Majority Chief Mitch McConnell on the time: “It might cross the Home, however not the Senate.” Uh huh. We’ll see about that after subsequent Wednesday.

And now, our characteristic presentation…

Cheers and Jeers for Tuesday, January 12, 2021

Notice: This simply in from Chief Justice Roberts: “Me execute oath give eight days faithfully!”

And this simply in from the president-elect: “Anyone inform that dog-faced pony soldier oath-goofer to write down it down on a three-by-five card this time, girls and gents. I imply it, no joke. That’s primary. Quantity two: see primary.”

By the Numbers:

Letters are removed from the Trump Plaza Casino signage in Atlantic City, New Jersey October 24, 2014. The Taj Mahal was slated to close on Nov. 13 but said it would stay open for an unspecified period after winning benefit cuts in court. But state and local governments have balked at offering tax concessions. If the Taj closes, it will be the fifth of 12 casinos in the city to close amid fierce competition from casinos in neighboring states.  REUTERS/Mark Makela (UNITED STATES - Tags: TRAVEL BUSINESS SOCIETY TPX IMAGES OF THE DAY) - RTR4BJ3F
The entire thing goes down in 17 days.

Days ’til inauguration day: 8

Days ’til the Trump Plaza Lodge & On line casino will get imploded in Atlantic Metropolis: 17

% of People polled by PBS NewsHour/Marist who blame Trump for the coup try on January 6th: 64%

% of People who need Trump to be instantly faraway from workplace, in response to a Reuters/Ipsos ballot: 57%

% who described the members within the tried coup as both “criminals” or “fools”: 79%

Quantity Quebec residents might be fined in the event that they violate an 8pm Covid-related curfew that is in impact for a month: $6,000

Variety of marijuana shops, cultivation amenities, and licensed product manufacturing amenities, respectively, in Maine now: 15 / 16 / 9

Pet Pic of the Day: XVII is coming on 2/7/21

CHEERS to double dipping for democracy. Anybody not residing contained in the Fox Information bubble who’s been paying consideration the final 4 years is aware of that the listing of impeachment costs in opposition to the present president may very well be so long as your arm. Final 12 months we obtained him on two counts for his “good name” with Ukraine (I am unable to wait ’til President Biden launch the whole transcript of that.) However these have been nothing in comparison with the size of the one that got shoved down his throat yesterday by the Home, making him the primary president to be so wretched he obtained impeached twice. A humiliation for the whole Republican get together, which is at the moment behaving like a drunk waking up from a bender with pork rinds caught to his head and no concept find out how to extricate themselves from the gutter:

The “incitement of rebel” article of impeachment was launched by Reps. Jamie Raskin, D-Md., Ted Lieu, D-Calif., and David Cicilline, D-R.I., together with greater than 210 Democratic co-sponsors. […]

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Yeehaw, let’s do it.

“President Trump gravely endangered the safety of the U.s. and its establishments of Authorities He threatened the integrity of the democratic system, interfered with the peaceable switch of energy, and imperiled a coequal department of Authorities. He thereby betrayed his belief as President, to the manifest harm of the folks of the United States,” the article says.

The impeachment article additionally cited Trump’s name with the Georgia Republican secretary of state the place he urged him to “discover” sufficient votes for Trump to win the state [and] the Structure’s 14th Modification, noting that it “prohibits any one that has ‘engaged in rebel or insurrection in opposition to’ the USA” from holding workplace.

The Home will possible vote tomorrow. Because the members of Congress are casting their votes on behalf of their constituents, the Founding Fathers might be wanting down and muttering themselves, “We needed to write the 14th to cease that man???”  Yeah.  Sorry ’bout that.

CHEERS to Crew Biden Tremendous Spooks Motion League!!!  Now we know who #46 is sending to the basement of [location of undisclosed location deleted] to tackle the covert evildoers who’ve spent the final 4 years invading and attacking our nation’s elections, utilities, and nationwide safety infrastructure with impunity. For the reason that Trump administration continues to be in cost for 8 extra days, C&J was capable of waltz into the basement of [location of undisclosed location deleted again, and if you force me to delete it a third time you’re all going to Gitmo] and steal these unique particulars from the file on CIA Director nominee Dr. William Joseph Burns:

»  Born 1956 at Fort Bragg, North Carolina

»  B.A. in historical past from la Salle College in Philadelphia; Marshall Scholar at Oxford, incomes a Masters and doctorate in Philosophy

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Dr. William Burns tries on his official CIA fedora.

»  Spent 33 years within the international service, together with stints as ambassador to Jordan and Russia, Assistant Secretary of State for Close to East Affairs, and Undersecretary of State for Political Affairs.

»  Speaks Russian, Arabic and French

»  Awards earned: all of them together with the coveted EGOT.

»  Does he like lengthy walks on the seashore at sundown with a daiquiri in a single hand and the reins of his pet llama “Porter Goss” within the different? He may inform you, however then he’d should kill you.

»  He would possibly kill you, anyway, only for that perspective you appear to be copping concerning the llama.

»  No, he is not going to “drop it already.” You began it!

Earlier than this escalates any additional, I counsel all of us print out the above, eat it, and by no means communicate of it once more. Welcome aboard, sir. I’ve by no means heard of you, and also you have been by no means right here.

JEERS to our hunka hunka burnin’ planet. How scorching was 2020? Hotter than Donald Trump’s mind cell after he obtained his twitter account taken away endlessly. Hotter than the seat a Wall Road bankster sits on as Rep. Katie Porter pulls out her white board and says, “My first query to you is…”  It was so scorching that Franklin Graham started telling his flock that unrepentant sinners would begin being re-routed from hell to fry for eternity in Oklahoma. It was hotter than the steam popping out of Greta Thunberg’s ears as her pleas for motion local weather change have been ignored for an additional 12 months. Yeah…that hot:

2020 has formally change into the joint-hottest 12 months on file, the European Union’s Copernicus Local weather Change Service has confirmed.

The 12 months, which ties with 2016, rounds off the most popular decade globally ever on file because the impacts of local weather change intensify.

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Phrase of funding recommendation: put all of your cash in ACME Rubber Rafts, LLC.

In 2016 the intense warmth was partly attributed to the top of an El Niño occasion, an enormous ocean-atmosphere local weather interplay which ends up in warming in sea floor temperatures throughout swathes of the Pacific Ocean.  2020 had no such occasion.

2021 is on monitor to fill the file books with extra terrible warmth. Even worse, extra of my terrible warmth metaphors.

BRIEF SANITY BREAK

END BRIEF SANITY BREAK

JEERS to a different waste of Air Pressure One frequent-flier miles. Seizing on the possibility to rehabilitate his legacy after main the tried seizure-by-force of the USA authorities, President Trump travels to Alamo, Texas (not the precise Alamo as initially reported) to ship the ultimate building bill to Mexico by way of one of many slats in his wonderful—and gloriously-scalable—border wall that nobody is proud of:

[The wall is] excess of critics needed, far lower than he needed, and none it funded by Mexico.

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People, I’m beginning to imagine this man.

Finally depend, some 452 miles has been constructed. About 12 miles of that’s alongside segments of the border with none barrier earlier than. The remainder replaces shorter and fewer sturdy barrier.

The mission has price $15 billion thus far, simply $4.5 billion of that supplied by Congress. Trump diverted the remaining from the navy finances when lawmakers balked at full funding. … By the point he leaves workplace, will probably be about 40% fenced.

Throughout his journey, he’ll spend a while seething over the truth that the celebrated 2022 PGA Championship, initially scheduled at one in all his golf resorts, is being moved somewhere else that is not owned and operated by a tinpot dictator-wannabe. Good transfer. As quickly as he leaves workplace, everybody’s gonna desert his properties and depart him with no income and many payments, resulting in their inevitable—look ahead to it—“Fore!”…closure.  (The canine’s punchline. Not dangerous for a mutt.)

CHEERS to my li’l inaugural guidelines.  Since subsequent Wednesday goes to be a nonstop whirling dervish of loopy, I am writing down the necessities I am going to have to adequately take part within the occasions of January 20, 2021:

» Hope

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» Optimism

» Awe

» Reduction

» Euphoria

» A gnawing sense of hard-wired cynicism fueled by the creeping but irrational suspicion that this man goes to behave like a typical politician, over-compromising and under-reaching, finally ending up simply one other in an extended string of disappointments and paving the way in which for President Eric Trump.

And in addition an enormous wheel of cheese embossed with the presidential seal. Low-salt, please.

Ten years in the past in C&J: January 12, 2011

CHEERS to Day 4.  All the wounded victims nonetheless at Tucson’s College Medical Heart proceed to enhance, in response to docs.  As for Congresswoman Giffords, her neurosurgeon says she has a 100 percent chance of survival now. And he or she continues making progress in performing easy duties.  C&J slipped a spycam into ICU and here is a transcript of this morning’s routine:

Physician: In case your title is Gabby, carry your index finger.  [Lifts index finger]

Physician: If the present month is January, carry two fingers.  [Lifts two fingers]

Physician: Are you able to mop the ground and make me breakfast?  [Lifts middle finger]

Wonderful.

And only one extra…

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Right this moment is pill-a-palooza at a pharmacy close to you.

CHEERS to America’s dispensers-in-white.  Right this moment is Nationwide Pharmacist Day, after we acknowledge a occupation whose members quietly go about their job of filling prescriptions accurately, promptly and safely earlier than ringing them up together with our peanut M&Ms, Folks journal, Swiffer pad replacements and dental floss.

They will rejoice the same old approach, by inviting clients to select a goodie from the large bowl containing capsules they discovered on the ground over the course of the 12 months.

Typical caveat applies: if you happen to choose the one formed like a dodecahedron, permit your self three days to come back down.

Have a trippy Tuesday. Flooring’s open…What are you cheering and jeering about in the present day?

Right this moment’s Shameless C&J Testimonial

“I simply had such a robust response to Cheers and Jeers and it caught me off guard. Normally I save my crying for particular events…like once I’m pregnant!”

Gal Gadot